Doctor Who and the Mutants
by SgtNumnum
Summary: Death's Head is back! And this time he's not taking any prisoners! He's now hunting down the Doctor! And let me tell you, it won't be pretty. Sequel to The Hunt for Wolverine. Oh, and Multiple and Iceman are there too.
1. Chapter 1

Doctor Who and the Mutants

**Author's Note: This is the sequel to my previous fic, The Hunt for Wolverine. And no, I don't mean the mutants that the Third Doctor fought, I mean the ones from X-Men. If you were confused by this, then I am truly sorry, but you can still read this story, I guess. And I was supposed to say who guessed the answer to the question at the end of the last story correctly, but no one actually guessed. Oh, and the first chapter contains spoilers for Guardians of the Galaxy.**

Chapter 1: Meet the Team

Death's Head stepped into the Space Station. He was late to meet with the person hiring him because of an incident on the planet Xandar.

"Sorry I'm late", he said, "But let's get to the point, yes? Who do you want me to kill?"

His client turned around, revealing herself, in a completely non-perverse way, I assure you, to be the Empress of the Racnoss.

"I want you to kill the Doctor", she spat, "He killed the rest of my people, and I will make him pay!"

"I'm in", Death's Head answered, "but it'll be pretty hard to kill him, I've tried"

"You will not be working alone", the Empress said, "I have arranged for a team to help you"

As if on cue, three Cybermen, a Sontaran, and five Borgs (remember the crossover with Star Trek? No? Well google it, because it happened, and for this story, imagine them as assimilated versions of celebrities or people you hate) stepped out of the shadows.

"They have been defeated by the Doctor before, and they will assist you in ending his pitiful life", the Empress continued.

"I've already got a plan", Death's head grinned, or he would have grinned, had he an actual mouth.

**Things are gonna get crazy. What is Death's Head's plan? How is the Empress of the Racnoss still alive? Where is my pizza? All these questions will be answered in the next exciting chapter…except for the last one, which will be answered now: I ate it.**


	2. Chapter 2

Doctor Who and the Mutants

**Hey guys, it's me, SgtNumnum. Sorry it took so long to update this, but I've been having some computer issues, as well as dealing with school. But I'll try my best to upload the rest of the story quickly.**

Chapter 2: The Phone Call

It was an average day for a certain Time Lord. He had saved Clara from extraterrestrial beings and offended a fictional archer. Now, he was taking Clara to the planet Hedonia for an adventure that hopefully wouldn't endanger their lives. Suddenly, a message came through on the TARDIS exterior phone. Muttering to himself about how it's not supposed to do that, he stepped out and picked up.

"Who the f*ck is it?! I've had a long day, so state your point or hang up!", the Doctor snapped angrily.

"Hello Doc, Death's Head here, you remember me, yes? Then again, how could you not?", Death's Head greeted cheerfully.

"What's got you so happy?", the Doctor asked.

"Well business is going great, I've fought and defeated an immortal superhero..."

"Good for you, $$hole!", the Doctor exclaimed.

"Oh yeah, and I've kidnapped some of your former companions and I'm holding them for ransom", Death's Head finished, none the less cheery.

"What?!", the Doctor snarled, "You know I don't have any money!"

"Well, when I said ransom, I meant that you have to go to the planet Barcelona unarmed and surrender"

"Who wants me dead this time?", the Doctor asked.

"Umm, some cyborgs, a baked potato, some more cyborgs, and a spider-creature", Death's Head replied, "You've really pissed some people off, yes?"

"Fine, you can expect me there about a month from now", the Doctor said, hanging up, "F*ckity Bye!". At that moment, Clara walked into the console room, meeting him at the entrance to the time machine.

"Who was that?", she asked.

"An old enemy of mine", the Doctor said.

"Your enemies call you now?", Clara asked skeptically.

"That's not the point", the Doctor said, "he's kidnapped some of my friends and is holding them hostage in Barcelona until I surrender".

"Why's he holding them in Spain?", Clara asked.

"The planet Barcelona, not the city", the Doctor said, "But before we go save them, we have to stop by some old friends".

**Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. If you're reading this story, please review. By the way, Death's Head is in a smaller version of his S.W.O.R.D. body. **


	3. Chapter 3

Doctor Who and the Mutants

**Hey guys, if you're reading this, then the next chapter has finally been uploaded, so chances are, you probably aren't. Is anyone actually reading this fic?**

Chapter 3: The Mutants finally show up

There was a bright flash of light, and Jamie Madrox found himself wedged between a washing machine and a wall.

'Well Madrox, it could be worse', he thought to himself. Suddenly, Bobby Drake, the Iceman, fell from the ceiling, crushing the washing machine, as well as dislocating Multiple's wrist.

"Where am I?", Bobby asked, his head stuck inside the washing machine.

"Some call it a washing machine", Multiple said. Pulling his head out of the washer, Bobby turned to look at him, gave a quick "hi", and proceeded to examine the room, unaware of a certain article of clothing that had attached itself to his head.

"Hey Bobby...", Jamie started.

"What is it?", Bobby asked. Multiple thought for a second, before responding "never mind", having decided that the older mutant would notice eventually. Bobby was about to say something when they heard a female voice, followed by footsteps.

"Dude, we're in someone's house!", Bobby said.

"What do we do?!", Jamie asked, panicking. They were unable to decide on a plan, because a man and a woman burst down the door holding machine guns.

"Holy crap!", the man exclaimed.

"I know, what are the chances of aliens appearing in our house?", the woman said excitedly.

"No, I mean look at taller one's head", the man said. The woman took a long look at Iceman, before her face contorted.

"Oh my! Is that my-?!", the woman asked, "Get them!"

Jamie split into twelve duplicates, giving him a chance to escape. Bobby created an ice barricade, before blowing a hole in the wall of the room, escaping into the street with Jamie not far behind. The couple followed them out, firing madly.

"Get those freaks!", the woman said.

"Wow! Racist much?!", Bobby snarled, firing icicles at them. The duplicates, led by Multiple, charged at them. Had the bullets and icicles reached their targets, all four combatants would have been killed. Fortunately for them, a certain blue Police Box appeared between them, the projectiles reflecting off harmlessly.

"Holy crap! It's the Doctor!", the man said, rushing towards the box, the woman following closely. The Doctor stepped out of the box.

"You're not the Doctor!", the woman said.

"Oh please Martha, just because I look different doesn't mean I'm not the Doctor", the Time Lord said.

"You've regenerated!", the man said, as Martha ran to hug the Doctor.

"Well Mickey the Idiot, seems you haven't changed", the Doctor said, "What's with the weapons? I hate weapons!"

"Those guys were trying to kill us!", Martha said, pointing at the two mutants.

"What?", Multiple asked.

"No we weren't!", Iceman insisted.

"Are you gonna believe us or them?", Mickey asked the Doctor.

"Them", the Doctor said, pointing to the mutants, "Now, all of you get in the TARDIS!"

**Well, this was an interesting chapter, wasn't it? I'll get started on the next chapter now...well, okay, not now, I have an essay to write for Spanish, but then I'll get started on it...maybe.**


	4. Chapter 4

Doctor Who and the Mutants

**Hey guys, here's the next chapter, because I decided to wait to do the essay until later. You may have noticed that these three recent chapters have been posted in quick succession, that's because I'm trying to make up for taking over a month to update the story. Is anyone actually reading this?**

Chapter 4: Every story has a dull part, and here's this one's

Once everyone was on board the TARDIS, the Doctor began explaining everything.

"So, I came to get you, and ended up also grabbing these nuts", he said, gesturing to the two mutants, "that's because there's a mechanical bounty hunter called Death's Head, well, I had a part in his creation so I guess that makes him my son, but that was in my seventh body, so I'm not sure if that counts, because I'm so much better now, but anyway, so he's a mercenary that's kidnapped some of my friends, and possibly some other people too, he's not very bright, and he's holding them hostage on Barcelona, and unless I go there unarmed he's gonna kill them, also, he's partnered with a Sontaran, a couple of Cybermen, a few Borgs, and the Empress of the Racnoss. The plan is that we go there, and when I step out unarmed, you guys sneak out wearing cloaking devices-"

"I met a guy named Cloak once!", Jamie said.

"Shut up, no one cares", the Doctor snapped, before continuing, "so you step out wearing cloaking devices and take out the others and rescue my friends and other people, and then we escape back to the TARDIS, but before we leave, we erase their memories of us, wipe Death's Head's programming, sell his weapons systems to a scrapyard, give the rest of him to U.N.I.T., and then we go eat at a 1950's Earth themed diner in space. Who's in?"

"Me!", everyone except Bobby said.

"Who are you again?", the cryokinetic asked.

"I'm the Doctor", the time lord responded.

"Doctor Who?", he asked, puzzled.

"Why the f*ck does everyone keep asking that?!", he growled, "It's just 'The Doctor'"

"Okay, I'm in too", Bobby said. Suddenly, a foul, burning stench filled the console room.

"Sorry, my bad", Clara said from the kitchen.

"Clara! Stop trying to make soufflés!", the Doctor ordered, before turning to the other and saying, "Oh, and this is my companion, Clara"

"When you say companion, are you talking about a sexual relationship?", Bobby asked.

"No!", Mickey, Martha, Clara, K-9 (who'd been there the whole time) and the Doctor said simultaneously.

"Okay, when do we start?", Jamie asked.

"Right now", the Doctor said, pulling a lever.

It had been a strange day for Mickey and Martha's neighbor, Jim. He had gotten sidetracked by a fight involving a gun toting hedgehog, a regular English gentleman with a Glock, a brown haired girl holding a bazooka and a puppy, a Mexican gangster, and a bottle of tequila on the way to McDonald's. Then he could have sworn that he saw human sized turtles climbing into his toilet. Now, he watched as a married couple with laser guns fought a small army made entirely of identical twelve year olds and a boy made of ice, only to be stopped by an old man in a blue box showing up and pushing them into the box, which then disappeared.

"Maybe I need to stop drinking", he pondered, putting down his vodka martini, "on second thought I'll just come out of retirement". He then picked up a Walther PPK, put on a suit, and drove away in an Aston Martin DB5.

**Cameos by Shadow the Hedgehog, Jason and Joyce from **_**It's Walky**_**, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and James Bond? Is this going to lead to another crossover fanfic? I'll let you decide that in the comments. Sorry these last chapters have been a bit short, I'll try to make them longer.**


End file.
